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This blog page has been launched to promote femininity and female empowerment, and to raise visibility of Fascinating Womanhood: an international femininity movement and guide to help women make their marriage into a lifelong love affair in the bestselling book written by Helen B. Andelin.  

Thank You

Richard Forsyth

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~ By an Anonymous Contributor, 

   I want to thank you for Fascinating Womanhood. You have helped me find my husband’s real love for me. The one thing I have wanted him to do is wear his wedding ring. He said he hated it, and he couldn’t keep it on because it made him feel trapped.  I would find it on tables and dressers, everywhere but on his finger. He knew how badly I wanted him to wear it but he still refused. So next time I found it, I put it away.

   One day, my lovely friend and landlady gave me your book and I started to practice Fascinating Womanhood in my life. One evening, about 2 months later, we were getting ready for a party when he asked me for his ring. My heart pounded until it hurt while I was getting it and putting it on his finger. He held up his hand and turned it back and forth admiringly. It is a year now and he has not taken it off. Our love seems to grow stronger every day. I, without a doubt, consider you one of my dearest friends and I thank you with all my heart.

NOTE: Our testimonials only come from real contributors, most of whom prefer to remain anonymous.  The images we use in association with anonymous stories are just stock supply. We encourage you to share your story so the entire community can grow and benefit.  We promise to keep your details as anonymous as you desire.  Thank you to all you fascinating women out there who continue to contribute.  You are changing the world! have to try it to find out. 

An Experience with Pandora's Box

Richard Forsyth

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~ By an Anonymous Contributor, 

   I would like to share an experience of how “Pandora’s box” was amazingly emptied. It really did not register with me as being Pandora’s box until afterwards.

   If it had not been for chapter three in Fascinating Womanhood, I’m afraid my reaction to all the resentments and complaints pouring out of Pandora’s box would have been quite negative. Even though it hurt deeply to hear all of those terrible hostilities, I was encouraged in that I knew he would not have done so had he not felt secure for the first time in years.

   When I realized what was happening, I started laughing after we had gone to bed and my husband wanted to know what was so funny. I explained to him what had happened and why it happened. He told me that, until a couple of weeks ago, he really didn’t there was a chance of having a meaningful relationship, but since then he sees real hope for the first time in three years.

   Other successes I’ve had since practicing Fascinating Womanhood are: My husband gave me $1,000.00 and insisted that I go out and buy some clothes. He is buying me a new sewing machine. He has taken me to out to dinner twice and spared no expense. And the one thing I appreciated the most—he paid me a very high compliment in front of our friends. This was very unusual for him in that he always used to degrade me or insult me in front of these same friends.  He is proud of me now and is treating me more like a queen than his cook, nursemaid, and babysitter.

NOTE: Our testimonials only come from real contributors, most of whom prefer to remain anonymous.  The images we use in association with anonymous stories are just stock supply. We encourage you to share your story so the entire community can grow and benefit.  We promise to keep your details as anonymous as you desire.  Thank you to all you fascinating women out there who continue to contribute.  You are changing the world! have to try it to find out. 

Every Woman Should Read Fascinating Womanhood

Richard Forsyth

~ By an Anonymous Contributor, 

   I personally wish I had read Fascinating Womanhood years ago. It would have spared my family a lot of pain and heartache.

   I was on the verge of divorce. I have been married and loved my husband for years but never knew how to let him know. Last summer we really began to have problems and I was desperate. I didn’t know where to turn and he refused to discuss anything with me. My doctor suggested I buy Fascinating Womanhood and I’ll be thankful forever that I did.

  My husband told me he has a deeper feeling for me now than he has ever had and that he has always loved me. Thank you for writing such a fantastic book. Believe me, I praise it and suggest it to every women I can.

NOTE: Our testimonials only come from real contributors, most of whom prefer to remain anonymous.  The images we use in association with anonymous stories are just stock supply. We encourage you to share your story so the entire community can grow and benefit.  We promise to keep your details as anonymous as you desire.  Thank you to all you fascinating women out there who continue to contribute.  You are changing the world! have to try it to find out. 

Building Trust in a Marriage

Jennifer Cross

Building Trust in a Marriage

Trust is fundamental to a healthy relationship, especially a marriage relationship. Without trust, communication becomes guarded, and one person is always on the defensive, trying not to be hurt again. With trust, love grows instead of fear.

What creates barriers to trust in a marriage?

  • Previously broken relationships: If a parent or someone that you trusted hurt you in some way, you become guarded and careful around other people that represent that person to you. Broken promises, physical abuse, sexual abuse, infidelity, pornography and lies all create situations of distrust. Once someone has broken your trust, that will affect both the relationship with the perpetrator and any new relationships.

  • Unwillingness to forgive: Forgiveness breaks down the protection around your heart. Once you have been hurt, you want to protect yourself from being hurt again. This process is natural. By not forgiving, you continue to hold someone at a distance to you, not letting them get to close to hurt you again.

  • Resentment: Harboring hard and bitter feelings about what something that happened to you breeds blame and puts you in the role of a victim. A victim is powerless and helpless and places all the fault on another person without taking any responsibility for the situation. There are some situations where a person is a true victim, however, they are very rare, and usually situations of crime.

  • Inability to forgive yourself: When you know that you have done something to break another person's trust, it is very difficult to trust others. You are filled with self-doubt, which breeds doubt in others.

There are several steps to healing and repairing trust in a relationship. Each of these is an important and essential part in restoring trustworthiness.

  1. Identify the origin of the problem: Who broke trust? Was it you, your husband, or someone in previous relationship? Once you have identified the origin of the broken trust, then, and only then, it is possible to begin to repair and heal from the hurt that has been caused.

  2. Choose to forgive: Forgiveness may take some time. The crazy thing is that by not forgiving, the only person you are hurting is yourself. The other person has already moved on. They are either still doing what they did, or they aren't. If they are, forgiveness doesn't mean you have to let them back into your life. If they aren't, why still hold on? Remember to forgive yourself, too, for whatever part you played in the situation.

  3. Choose to love: Love is a choice, not a feeling. Love is treating others with kindness, regardless of whether or not they deserve it. Love is serving others and speaking positive and encouraging words to them. Love may include physical touch, gifts, and spending time together. Love overlooks the wrongs of others, and is willing to wait as long as is necessary for someone.

  4. Give yourself and the other person room to grow: Too often, we place either ourselves or the other person in a box and don't allow for change. It's too easy to say, “He's always been that way,” or “I keep doing the same thing over and over again.” Growth happens in a spiral. In Ann of Green Gables, Ann says, “The one good thing about me is I never make the same mistake twice.” Well, she may have only broken the slate over Gilbert's head once, but she sure treated him poorly for years before she changed her heart toward him. As she became more secure in who she was, and was loved by Matthew and Marilla regardless of the color of her hair, she gradually was able to accept and reciprocate the attention of Gil towards her, and trust him not to call her “Carrots” or tease her again.

  5. Be patient: It may take time (sometimes a lot of time) for trust to be restored after it is broken. The hurt party wants to make sure that it won't happen again. It may take time to prove yourself, or you may choose to ask for time to prove your husband. Perhaps taking a step back to the “dating” phase may be a way to rebuild the relationship. A time of separation followed by reconciliation provides space and time for proving integrity and trustworthiness.

  6. Consider counseling: Whether alone or as a couple, counseling brings in help from an outside source that can help you see things from the outside in. It also provides space for expressing thoughts and feelings, grieving, and communication that might not otherwise occur.

By continuing to follow the principles outlined and taught in Fascinating Womanhood, you will become a woman of integrity and trustworthiness. As you develop these traits in yourself, you will inspire them in others. You will, by your simplicity and tenderness, motivate compassion and chivalry.  

Heather LeFoll

Doula at Mother's Heart Birth Services and a Trained and Certified Fascinating Womanhood Teacher

Website: A Mother's Heart

"It is hard but empowering to exchange fear for faith."
Heather LaFoll - a Mother at Heart

Heather LaFoll - a Mother at Heart

The Single Mothers Guide to Fascinating Womanhood

Richard Forsyth

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~ By Jalisa Cater, Certified and Trained Fascinating Womanhood Teacher

   All I could do was continue to look at the ground. After months of prayers, the nurse gave me the news I was dreading to hear. I'm pregnant. Their I was, 28 years old, unmarried, living alone, and now Pregnant. However, after letting it sink in for a couple minutes, I accepted my new chapter in my life. I told the child's father and he was ecstatic. We tried to get back together for the sake of our child and be a family, but after a few months we realized it would not work between us. So hear I am, starting my new life as a single mom. I am not scared,I am actually excited for this new path in my life. Here are some tips for single moms out their:

Read more...

Heartbreak—with a Happy Ending!

Richard Forsyth

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~ From an Anonymous Contributor, 

    My husband and I were married when I was 18 and he was 19 years old. We went through school together and went together for 6 months after graduation before becoming engaged. After a one-and-a-half-year engagement, we were married and eight days later he was sent overseas by the Air Force.

   I lived with his parents for the next five months while saving up enough money so I could join him. His folks were closer to me than my own. He was their only son and they accepted me lovingly into their home as their only daughter. I thought I knew everything there was to know about my husband when I finally joined him.

   Well, I was wrong, and completely oblivious to the really important things a wife should know about her husband and most importantly, herself. I ignorantly stumbled through seven years of marriage. The last four of those years were pure hell for me emotionally. When our first child was three months old, my husband finally confessed (after umpteen million times I’d accused him of not loving me) that “maybe I was right, cause he didn’t think he loved me anymore.”

   Now it was at last out in the open and we didn’t know what to do about it. We are both very conscientious people with high moral standards and we decided to seek professional help to determine if there was enough left of our marriage to salvage.

   Our minister suggested Family Service Association and so for two years after that, we went weekly to our marriage counselor.

   We had another baby 17 months after the first, and shortly thereafter I was critically burned in an auto accident which I know was an answer to my prayers. Dumb? Yes, but I was desperate, emotionally falling apart at the seams, since counseling obviously was not providing the answers to our problems (my problems really). So I prayed every day for help to find a way out, or to take me out of my misery by taking my life, or by making something horrible happen to me so my husband would be jolted into a realization whether he loved me or not. The constant pressure of not knowing was too much for me to go on bearing.

   Well, it worked, or, at least I thought it did for while. I lay there in the hospital in intensive care, I heard my husband say, “I love you” for the first time in 3 years. It was wonderful at first and I suffered greatly for that; and that “I love you” is all that kept me going the whole two months I was in the hospital, for I was sure that when I got home, everything would be wonderful and happy again in spite of my scarred ugly face and hands.

   Again, I was wrong. Things were worse than ever and the next two years I spent praying for God to show mercy on this wretched human being who was really at the end of her rope. I tried so hard and changed my ways just like the counselor said and nothing helped. The problem definitely was not solved, and I had no emotional control left. I was a complete wreck in every sense of the word.

   Last July, my husband was speaking cruelly and disrespectfully to me in front of our children and I thought that was the last straw, so I helped him pack his bags and asked him to leave. He did, somewhat to my surprise; he was ready for it. Merciful peace reigned at last and I truly felt this was God’s answer to my prayers.

   Again, I was wrong. For 2 months we were the happiest separated couple the world has ever known. The children made great strides in that short time. The baby, now 2 years old, completely potty trained himself and these two little boys were happier than they’d ever been in their whole lives.

   Then, my sister finally brought me the book, Fascinating Womanhood and I immediately began the most intensive study program I ever partook of in my life. I read slowly, thoroughly, and then I thought and thought and then I’d apply one chapter at a time.

   An explosive revolution was going on inside me and I was so happy at last to have God’s answers to all my problems, but at the same time, I hated myself with a passion I never knew existed. How could I have been so dumb—so blind—so stupid!

   My husband was everything good I’d ever wanted in life and I hated myself for never having understood him as a man. By the time I finished the book, I looked in the mirror and saw myself as I really was—how my husband saw me. I despised what I saw.

   Oh, how ignorant and self-righteous I was. I cried for two days after I read about the Russian author of War and Peace, Tolstoy, and how his wife made herself so offensive that he couldn’t stand the sight of her.

   I was sure it was too late to ever repair the damage I had caused my husband. He had a wall of reserve that made the Great Wall of China look microscopic!

   I followed step by step the principles of Fascinating Womanhood and my husband responded miraculously. I will always be forever in debt to Fascinating Womanhood, Helen Andelin, and God for showing this wretched creature how to make others happy and how to be happy—for just that reason and none other.

   This is how it happened:

   I called my husband and asked him to stop by one evening on his way to work. I wanted to tell him of my new-found knowledge and tell him all the things the “ice breaker” said to say as a start. He came and I stammered for awhile until I finally told him that in my loneliness, I had been doing a lot of reading and that I was at long last able to see how wrong I had been all the years of our marriage (seven).

   I told him that I could never expect him to forgive me for making his life into a hell on earth, but that I wanted to apologize just the same and that I truly and deeply was sorry for the misery I had caused him.  I told him I could now see that the failure was my fault and mine alone and he was the best husband a woman ever had. I told him I admired his strength of character and that he never once gave into my nagging criticism and never allowed me to make him putty in my hands. He had to know this for his future happiness for I never wanted him to think our marriage ended through any fault of his. He could rest assured that some day he would find someone who could be the kind of wife he deserved and know that he couldn’t possibly ever cause any problems because he was the greatest guy in the world and I hated myself for not seeing it in time.

   All the while I was telling him these things, he just sat there looking alternately into space, not seeing anything and then in blank disbelief at me, and then into space again. When I’d finished I had tears running down my face and the whole house was so quiet. He didn’t move his blank stare and I just sat nearby, waiting, waiting, waiting. That 2-3 minutes seemed like an eternity.

   His only words were, “I’m dumbfounded. I don’t know what to say.” I told him I didn’t want or expect him to say anything but I simply wanted him to know how I felt. He left for work still somewhat dazed with disbelief.

   I did not leave the house for 3 days, waiting for a call or something and finally he called to ask if he could come over for his weekly visit with the kids and I said “sure.” That night, I admired him in front of the children for his long legs, broad shoulders, manly physique and neat good looks and he just ate it all up. He’d grin from ear to ear and chuckle and tell the children not to believe everything their mom told them. After we put the kids to bed he asked me to a dinner dance a month away and I was once again happy, happy, happy! This meant that there may still be some hope for me to reinstate myself with him and again.

   Weekly visits came and went and always the children consumed his full attention, but occasionally he would compliment me on the improvements I’d made in my appearance, homemaking, etc. But never a hint about moving back home to us, so in one of my loneliest moments I asked him over to watch TV with me and he came.

   After bedding down the kids, we talked a bit and I told him I wanted him to know that I truly love him and saw the error of my ways; that I felt I understood him as a man and that I thought I could make him happy if he could forgive me enough to move home. I told him I certainly didn’t expect him to, but that I’d love to have a chance to make him happy and to please think about it.  I said, “I just want you to know that I want you more than anything in this world and that, if by some miracle, you should want to come home, we love you and would be the happiest family to have you back.”

   He said it was too soon and that he was sorry I hadn’t changed sooner. That’s the way it went and the next two months went by without one single word or ray of hope from him that he even ever thought about returning.

   It had been 7 ½ years since we said, “I do” and 5 months since our separation when he came to the house with some papers for me to sign. He had just bought a car and needed my signature as it was to be in both our names.  I floated around the house for days and days clinging to that first ray of hope that he might be considering giving me another last chance to make good our marriage. I was so happy, but never pressed him about it.

   One week later, his refrigerator broke down at his apartment and he brought down all his food to store in ours until his could be fixed. In a joking way, as he was trying to figure out how to work picking up his food each day and plan his meals, I suggested he could move home with us and not worry about all that.  He stopped and smiled (to my amazement) and I just waited for his response. When it finally came, I was “in cloud 9” because he said, “Well, I guess I could at that.”

   I wrapped myself around him and bawled my eyes out with joy and the only words I could utter were, “You mean it? You mean you would really give me another chance?”

   After several moments when I’d calmed down a bit, he sat me down in a chair and said that before he could move home, he had to know how I would be in regard to his new-found and dearly loved freedom. He said that while on his own, he realized that his freedom to be his own self and indulge in his hobbies (wood working, electronics, etc.) and not to have to adhere to set schedules was his most precious possession he’d discovered while on his own and that he wouldn’t give that up for anyone or anything. I told him I understood and I guess he knew I did (at last) and as he walked out the door to get his things he turned and held out his hand. In his hand was a brand-new set of keys for his new car and he said, “Here, I guess you’ll need these now”, and he left, but only so that he could return again, and this time it was to be for good.

   That was 3 weeks before Christmas and we had the happiest Christmas any family ever had. Since that glorious day almost 6 months have passed and not one week goes by that he doesn’t comment in a bewildered way that he just can’t believe how much I’ve changed. He used to remind me of how I would have reacted before.

   Fascinating Womanhood has been the salvation of my soul, my marriage, and my family, and I will strive the rest of my days to live up to its teachings. I never did one thing—not one thing—right before and I have got a lot to learn yet before my old habits and thinking patterns have been wiped out of existence and replaced by the more mature and proper Fascinating Womanhood way.

   Not one Fascinating Womanhood applied principle has failed me and I know it’s the right way to be and even though every day is still a challenge I know it is because my husband can’t believe I have changed so much. I thank God in heaven and you on earth for giving me this last chance to make my family happy. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

NOTE: Our testimonials only come from real contributors, most of whom prefer to remain anonymous.  The images we use in association with anonymous stories are just stock supply. We encourage you to share your story so the entire community can grow and benefit.  We promise to keep your details as anonymous as you desire.  Thank you to all you fascinating women out there who continue to contribute.  You are changing the world! have to try it to find out. 

Happier at Home

Richard Forsyth

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~ From an Anonymous Contributor, 

   I had felt saddened and even guilty for some time because my greatest personal satisfactions were not found in my home. I enjoyed my family and household responsibilities but somehow, I felt they were things to hurry through so I could find time for the “real individual me.” My little fames and glories came mostly through church service or in public callings. With five lovely children and a sixth expected soon, I felt strongly that home should be the place where my most rewarding triumphs should be taking place. So, I was ready and anxious to take the Fascinating Womanhood class when it was held in our area. It was the answer!

   Through the dissecting of Angela-Human I found the areas that had held me up and the places where concentration must be heavy. I gained confidence in trying little new things around the house that I had thought at one time to be silly and unnecessary.

   The family sensed immediately that I felt a new interest in our home and they took time to boost my efforts to continue. My husband thoroughly enjoyed my new capers in trying to understand him and though we had always had a marvelous relationship, it too began to grow more meaningful and deeper. I am finding that my home really can be the place that fulfills the “real me”. 

NOTE: Our testimonials only come from real contributors, most of whom prefer to remain anonymous.  The images we use in association with anonymous stories are just stock supply. We encourage you to share your story so the entire community can grow and benefit.  We promise to keep your details as anonymous as you desire.  Thank you to all you fascinating women out there who continue to contribute.  You are changing the world! have to try it to find out. 

WOMEN & THE DEATH OF FEMININITY

Richard Forsyth

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   A very interesting article was written several years ago and still appears at a men's site that supports Fascinating Womanhood: illimitablemen.com.  We link to the specific article below.  

   The article is quite intellectual and lengthy, but very well-written and worth your time if you can spare it. 

   While we do not agree precisely with every point, such as the notion that homemaking is more like a hobby than work, the article offers some interesting and even eloquent views on femininity.  How much of this do you agree with?   

Women & the Death of Femininity