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This blog page has been launched to promote femininity and female empowerment, and to raise visibility of Fascinating Womanhood: an international femininity movement and guide to help women make their marriage into a lifelong love affair in the bestselling book written by Helen B. Andelin.  

Vintage Question and Comment from Helen Andelin's Newsletter - 2

Richard Forsyth

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~ By Helen Andelin, 

QUESTION: Ever since reading Fascinating Womanhood, I have wanted to write you. Sorry, but your theory is full of holes.  I speak from experience. I am definitely feminine. I love laces, frills, and pastel colors. I dress in a feminine style. I have a feminine figure. I have no mannerisms like the opposite sex. I don’t do things that are usually associated with masculine work, such as repairing cars, electrical appliances and carpentry. They are all Greek to me. According to your theory, these feminine characteristics should be attractive to men. They should make men feel more manly and protective of women.

   How is it I have never encountered this attitude in men? When I didn’t know what kind of tires I had on my car, the repair man looked down his nose and treated me like dirt.  When I accidentally cut the air conditioning wires while cutting the weeds around it, the repair man wanted to know how I could be so dumb. When I didn’t know that the muffler on my car needed to be repaired, a nearby man was as disrespectful as could be. Men have always looked down their noses at me. They act like I have no right to be alive. How do you explain this? I have more common sense than most men.

   Yes, I believe in the roles of men and women. Not that I will ever get the chance to put those beliefs into practice. There isn’t a man alive who wouldn’t rather burn in hell than be married to me. Men will not treat you with courtesy and respect just because you are feminine.
 
COMMENT: Femininity is much more than how you dress or even your mannerisms. It touches on your entire way of life. Perhaps you have weaknesses or attitudes you are not aware of. You may be pushy, dominating, or aggressive. You may have grown to be suspicious of men—they can feel it.  Sometimes these lacks are difficult for women to see in themselves. A good way to find out is to ask someone you trust to evaluate your femininity, such as a minister or a trusted friend. Regardless of what you say, femininity alone does not awaken a man’s protective qualities.  Here is a paragraph from a letter I received the same time as yours, from a single girl who is devotedly living Fascinating Womanhood:

   “My friends ask me what my secret is. Why do men to out of their way to help me? Why do men act so protective of me when there are other women present? Why do men wait for me, or seek me out at parties just to talk to me? Why are men affectionate to me when they are not the affectionate type?”

   Perhaps this woman truly likes men and has learned that charm, character along with femininity  is more important than focusing only on looking like a fascinating woman. 
 

I Was Destroying my Husband

Richard Forsyth

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~ By an Anonymous Contributor, 

   The first night I had my book, Fascinating Womanhood,  I covered the introduction and first three chapters. Just reading this much was an eye opener to me. It convinced me that I needed the course.

   I couldn’t believe how I was destroying my husband and our marriage by trying to change him. I had tried so hard to change him and love was being replaced by emotional and physical abuse.  Of course, before Fascinating Womanhood, I was too self-righteous and proud to even consider that I as the one who was wrong.

   Because of my pride, it was hard to take the first step, but oh, how rewarding each step has been. There is a sparkle in his eyes now that I haven’t seen since the early days of our marriage. What an unspeakable

A Whole New Life for Me

Richard Forsyth

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~ By an Anonymous Contributor, 

   Fascinating Womanhood opened a whole new life for me. I was one of those feminists who thought marriage should be on an equal basis. Boy, did I ever get my eyes opened! When first reading this book, I was turned off thinking, “It’s old fashioned and will never work,” and, “why do I have to do it all? Why can’t he try harder?"

   Our marriage was on the brink of divorce. In fact, I had already filed but really wanted to stay with my husband because down deep I still loved him.

   Whole avenues of happiness opened up for me when I applied a few tips from Fascinating Womanhood. My husband simply ate up the little things I tried. He was mistreating the children and being unkind t me because he hungered for appreciation and the knowledge that he was the leader of his household. At first, it was very hard for me to keep my “big mouth shut” when he ordered the kids around harshly. But it was unbelievable how fast he quit when he saw I wouldn’t interfere. This past month, he has taken the kids to the mountains twice for picnics. Before, this just wasn’t done—I did it all! Last night he brought home treats to both children. Before, “You don’t get something for nothing,” was his motto.

   At times, he still tests me to see if I will react to things as I used to, but when I don’t, his treatment of me changes to one of respect and kindness! Now he tells all his friends about what a wonderful wife he has.

   Fascinating Womanhood…thank you!

A Love Note

Richard Forsyth

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~ By Dixie Andelin Forsyth, 

   I just discovered a letter written to my mother, Helen Andelin, by my father, Aubrey Andelin. He wrote it in November 1967 while away on a business trip to Australia. In part, he wrote: 

“This lonesomeness is getting beyond a joke. I find myself not only thinking about you most of the day, but dreaming about you at night. I need some relief from this.”

   This is a glimpse into my mother’s personal Fascinating Womanhood success story. This is the marriage she always dreamed of, but had no idea how to achieve before she discovered the principles of Fascinating Womanhood. If she could find such happiness, so can you.

   It’s wonderful to know your parents felt this way about each other.

Sparks Back in My Marriage

Richard Forsyth

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~ By an Anonymous Contributor, 

   Thanks to Fascinating Womanhood, I have been able to put sparks back into my marriage. I really cherish my husband and appreciate what a wonderful man he is. He gave me flowers this past Christmas and before Fascinating Womanhood, the only time I got them was when I had a baby. 

Dealing with a Husband's Anger

Richard Forsyth

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~ By Helen Andelin,

   When a man is angry with his wife, how does she respond? There is a tendency for her to be angry in return. If he raises his voice, she raises hers. This is a human tendency. But, such a response could destroy her femininity.

   How should she respond? With childlikeness? This is one response—sauciness or teasing playfulness is perfect in many situations. But there are other methods when childlikeness is not the first answer. There is also a feminine response.

   The feminine response to a man’s anger is to first realize he has a right to be angry, just as you do on other occasions. We must accept his anger as human and allow him to express it, as long as it doesn’t become abusive. If you try to prevent his anger, you only frustrate him and make it worse. Remember, it doesn’t matter whether his anger is justified or not. If he thinks it is, then his anger is just as real, just as much in need of expression as if it were justified.

   If you can control your emotions with the above attitude, then you can respond in a feminine way, a way that will enhance your femininity. This response is a gentle response. It is a tender quality in women. In your gentleness, apologize for anything you might have done to offend him. Ask forgiveness. If you do, you will disarm him and will emphasize your femininity.

   But, if you find his anger arouses emotion in you, if you find that his anger is difficult to deal with and you do not feel you can respond in a gentle way, do not become discouraged. You can respond with childlikeness—either sauciness or teasing playfulness, the one that best fits the situation.

   We are all human and have weaknesses and strengths. By using the principles of Fascinating Womanhood, you will find you are able to handle normal, healthy anger in a charming way that will actually strengthen your marriage.

 

Your Book is Fantastic

Richard Forsyth

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~ From an Anonymous Contributor, 

   First, I want to let you know I think your book is fantastic! At first, I was pretty skeptical about your principles really working. I’d been brought up to believe “the worse you treat a man, the better they treat you.” So, I really had trouble with accepting him as he is.

   I have been quite religious for about 14 years and I felt that I was above him spiritually, so I was always finding fault with his spiritual outlooks. Well, to make a long story short, these past few weeks, I’ve been using only a few of the ideas in your book. The results are beautiful! My husband and I are closer than we have been in a long time. I intend to follow all the steps in your book as best I can. I ask my husband why we were so close and getting along so well and he replied, “It’s because you’ve changed.” Thank you again for helping me make my marriage come alive again!

Thank You for Fascinating Womanhood

Richard Forsyth

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~ By an Anonymous Contributor, 

   I just bought your wonderful book, Fascinating Womanhood and am having a hard time putting it down. Thank you so much for having the care and tenderness to author this book and make the wisdom God gave you available to other women. I have learned so much already and plan to keep it handy for the rest of my life!

   My boyfriend and I are at a serious stage in our relationship and I am seriously studying your book in anticipation of marriage.

   Sincerely, 

   One who wants to become a Fascinating Woman

Vintage Question and Comment from Helen Andelin's Newsletter

Richard Forsyth

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Question: In an article you wrote, you tell how to handle a situation when someone is offensive or insulting and being prepared with something genteel to say. Could you please suggest other things besides, “Oh, I see” as I have been overusing it.

Comment: In a recent issue, I told a story of Mrs. Carl Sandberg. When he husband was furious because he couldn’t get the door open. She said, “You have such a nice, strong voice.” Another suggestion: You can always change the subject. This can be humorous and can disarm an angry person.  For example, I knew a lady who, when anyone in the family was angry, would say, “Have you seen the flowers in the park lately?” She said it so frequently, it became symbolical. The family began to recognize it as a signal they were out of line.  It also turned the atmosphere to one of humor. The more contrast in the change of subject, the more humorous it will tend to be. 

I Became a Different Person

Richard Forsyth

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~ By an Anonymous Person, 

   I am a 65-year-old married woman married over 27 years and have made my home miserable by trying to reform my very fine husband in every way imaginable, to the point where I constantly emotionally drowned him. He became angry each time. We had no happiness or love. After reading Fascinating Womanhood, I became a different person, and he has become a happy husband. He has said “I love you” five times in the past two months, the only time in our marriage.