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Blog

This blog page has been launched to promote femininity and female empowerment, and to raise visibility of Fascinating Womanhood: an international femininity movement and guide to help women make their marriage into a lifelong love affair in the bestselling book written by Helen B. Andelin.  

Trapped

Richard Forsyth

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~ By an Anonymous Contributor, 

Dear Helen,    

   I want to thank you for Fascinating Womanhood. You have helped me find my husband’s real love for me. The one thing I have wanted him to do is to wear his wedding ring. He said he hated it, and he couldn’t keep it on because it made him feel trapped. I would find it on tables and dressers; everywhere but on his finger.  He knew how badly I wanted him to wear it, but he still refused. So next time I found it, I put it away.

   One day, my lovely friend and landlady gave me your book, Fascinating Womanhood. I started to practice it in my life. One evening, about two months later, we were getting ready for a party when he asked me for his ring. My heart pounded until it hurt while I was getting it and putting it on his finger. He held up his hand and turned it back and forth admiringly. It is a year now and he has not taken it off. Our love seems to grow stronger every day. I, without a doubt, consider you one of my dearest friends and I thank you with all my heart. 

My Dream Came True

Richard Forsyth

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~ By an Anonymous Contributor

   I’m not very good at expressing myself but I must tell you how Fascinating Womanhood has changed my life.

   My husband and I married very young. I wanted so badly to be a good wife, the kind you read about in love stories. I wanted to be fascinating, loving and soft. Only I came from a family where my mother hated housework, cooking, kids—everything womanly. I had no one to copy or to show me how to be who I longed to be. I didn’t fit in my mother’s world or in the women’s liberation world. I looked at marriage with both wishfullness and fear. I wanted marriage but I wanted a special kind of marriage, one where outsiders could just feel the love surrounding my family. I didn’t want the kind of marriage I found with all my neighbors and friends, with the wife telling the man what to do, always yelling and screaming, demanding her way. I wanted more than just a man and a woman living under the same roof. Only I felt that maybe the only people who live like this are the ones who live in children’s bedtime stories.
Then I met my husband. He was young, but he had good basic qualities and soon he had my heart. I thought with this boy I could have the kind of marriage I dreamed of. Anxious to be a wife, homemaker, and mother we started a family right away. I got pregnant within a few months, just in time to see my dreams all falling apart. My husband spent most of his time with the boys. When he was home he was always drinking, yelling, and slapping me around. He never asked me to do anything—he ordered. I feared him and almost hated him, but I came from a family who believed “You made your bed, you lie in it.” I had nowhere to go and a baby due any day. I felt helpless, trapped, and a complete failure as a woman. Where had things gone wrong?

   When my baby was born, my husband started to change and I could see a part of that person I once loved return. He was a fabulous father, but things didn’t change between us. He still slapped me around, wouldn’t come home every night until 10:00 or later from being out with the guys and would pick fights when he was home. This went on for four and a half years.  I hated being married. I hated being a mother, and I hated men. I wanted a divorce. My dream of marriage was just that, a dream. I tried so hard to be good wife. How had I failed?
One day, I was reading the paper and saw an article about Fascinating Womanhood. They described marriage just like my dream!  Maybe, just maybe, I could fit with them. Maybe they could help me find who I am. I had hit bottom. How I hoped this was the answer to my prayers. I was so hopeful I rushed down to a bookstore and bought a copy of Fascinating Womanhood.  Weeks before the class was to start.  Once I started to read, I knew this was the answer to my prayers! And I decided to start right away to live this way.

   All this time I had blamed my husband for our bad marriage. How wrong I was!! Bit by bit I started to change, not him, MYSELF! I bought some new feminine dresses in soft colors. I let my nails grow and put a permanent in my hair. So much for the outside. Now I had to change the inside.  I started just looking at my husband’s good points. He was a good father, he was generous with money, he was a hard worker and a good leader. I could go on and on and I did—to HIM.  When I got up in the morning, I tried to look at the good things that would happen that day, such as the pretty wild flowers growing or the beautiful sunset.  I thought of little things I could do to make my husband happy such as cooking what he liked or writing love notes to him, telling him about things he’s done or said that made me happy. I made a point of forgetting ALL else to listen to him when he wanted to talk, even if it meant turning off dinner, or stopping folding the clothes.  I did these and much more, trying to show him in all ways, at all times, that I accept him as he is—a man and a leader of his family and that I love and admire him.

   I have been living Fascinating Womanhood for a year and a half now and you would never believe we are the same couple.  He takes me out to lunch, fishing, and almost everywhere he goes. Lots of times we just go for drives or window shopping. And where before he never bought me presents, even on my birthday or Christmas, now I get presents just because he loves me. He now enjoys buying my clothes and things for the house. Would you believe we are even thinking about having another baby, an absolute no-no 18 months ago!
Thanks to Fascinating Womanhood, I don’t dream of a beautiful, warm, friendly, and loving marriage. I am living it.

New Life in Retirement

Richard Forsyth

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~ From an Anonymous Contributor, 

   My husband and I are middle-aged grandparents with minds of our own. Forced to retire because of health problems, my husband and I decided to make the most of it and bought a home in a senior citizens retirement village. Before long, I observed that the average retired couple was not deeply happy. Most of them had worked and saved for years for this very time and found themselves disappointed. Besides that, they were lonely for their children and grandchildren who often lived far away. Retired couples have lots of time to notice petty, insignificant things in each other and tend to become critical and sarcastic. This situation distressed me and made me aware that my own marriage was not as smooth as it could be. Something was lacking! Something was elusive. The first thing I learned in Fascinating Womanhood came as a shock. The lack was within me! I had always tried to be a good wife, but I just didn’t know how at times. I found I was an expert at saying the wrong things.

   But I knew as soon as I began to read, I found the way to change all that just be working and developing patience. Best of all I, alone, without help, could put our marriage on a higher level and have fun doing it. My husband does not hand out compliments easily, so I was elated one morning when he sincerely announced, “Honey, you are sweet and wonderful, and I’m glad I’m married to you.”

My Doctor's Advice

Richard Forsyth

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~ By an Anonymous Contributor, 

   Every woman should read Fascinating Womanhood. I personally wish I had read it years ago. It would have spared my family a lot of pain and heartache.

   I was on the verge of divorce. I have been married and have loved my husband for years, but never knew how to let him know. Last summer we really began to have problems and I was desperate. I did not know where to turn, and he refused to discuss anything with me. My doctor suggested I buy Fascinating Womanhood and I’ll be thankful forever that I did.
My husband told me he has a deeper feeling for me now than he has ever had and that he has always loved me. Thank you for writing such a fantastic book. Believe me, I praise it and suggest it to every woman I can.

I Won Him Back from Another Woman

Richard Forsyth

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~ From an Anonymous Contributor

   My husband and I had been married 11 years and I thought we were happy. I was alone much of the time with four children but he had his own business and I thought that was the way it had to be. The only time we had together was Sunday and that always turned out boring and miserable, and I knew my husband was even more bored. I didn’t know what to do. Then it got so bad that he even worked on Sunday.

   Then suddenly there was another woman. He went on with his affair, sometimes living at home, sometimes not.  When this had been going on about two years, I found Fascinating Womanhood. I tried living it but it was almost impossible since I saw him so little and we talked even less.

   After I had the book six months I decided that I must file for divorce as I didn’t believe it was helping the children to stay together—they knew too much. When I told him, he said he didn’t believe me but said he would move out as soon as possible. It wasn’t a month before he started asking what he had to do to come back to us and then I poured on Fascinating Womanhood thick and heavy. I told him that if he would give up the other woman, that I wanted another chance to prove myself to him.
We started dating and he was with us practically all the time. About three months later I dropped the divorce and he moved back home.

Women are the Gatekeepers of Civilization - How Mothers Contribute to the Well-Being of a Nation

Richard Forsyth

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~ By Dixie Andelin Forsyth

   We are the mothers of every person who has ever been born. We are also the main ones who raise the people of earth. More women have strong, moral character and we have an amazing ability to ennoble men, to calm them, and to center them. One of our important areas of strength, and where we are desperately needed, is in bearing and lovingly raising our children. These are the future generation that will determine how strong, or weak, our nations remain. The best chance for children is if they come from homes where they are taught to be moral, honest, law abiding and we instill the values of work, love, and service to others.

   If women want to, and are able, to raise their own children—especially while they are young enough to need childcare—their desires should be respected and admired. Many women must work outside the home and don’t have this choice. We recognize them for their strength and willingness to take on herculean schedules to make both career and child-rearing possible.

   There are some countries, and even some areas in the United States, that put pressure on mothers to be in the workforce who otherwise would love to stay home and raise their children when they are very young. Among some of their arguments against stay at home mothers are:

1. They assert that women need to be working for the welfare of the nation and that those who stay home with their young ones are just lazy. By earning money, they will add to productivity and also pay taxes that will increase the wealth of their country and government.

2. If all women don’t work outside the home, there won’t be enough people to fill all the jobs and we’ll be forced to bring in immigrants to do their work.

3. Since all women aren’t equally intelligent, it’s better for government organizations—schools, daycare centers and other caregivers, to predominantly raise children.

4. No one can get by on one income.

5. Being a full-time mother and homemaker isn’t challenging and wastes one’s talents.
 
   None of these arguments are fully valid and they vastly underestimate women. Clearly, those who harbor these beliefs are amateurs at motherhood and homemaking, and they have no real idea of what it takes to bear and raise a child. My answers to these superficial arguments are as follows:

1. Most career women are not highly paid doctors, lawyers or executives. For those who are not, it’s doubtful a legitimate case could be made that, after the cost of extra taxes and childcare, the money taken home compensates for, or is so essential, that no mother should ever consider spending the relatively few years it takes to raise a child to the point of not needing constant supervision. All women aren’t raising small children at the same time. We all have years before children and many more after children to spend in the workforce if we want to, or need to.

2. It’s doubtful that so many people are needed to fill all the jobs in any given country that no one should ever take a few years to give birth and raise their children to an age where they can go unsupervised for a few hours at a time. There are many women who either don’t have children yet, can’t have them, don’t want them, or are past childbearing years. In addition, many people still complain about there not being enough good jobs and that automation is eliminating many others.

3. Who raises children better: Moms who love their children, or an unrelated caregiver who might be kind but doesn’t really care about them and how they turn out? Though there is no guarantee of a loving mother’s success, there is even less guarantee for a paid caregiver. There is no assurance that, over the course of a child’s formative years, the paid care they get will be remotely equal to, let alone better than the loving care of a mother who ultimately wants her children to grow up to be happy, educated, and responsible.

4. Some people do get by on one income. Some can easily afford it. Others can’t. But to give this decision to a government authority who neither knows the couple or their abilities isn’t wise either. It should be up to each family to decide what they can or can’t do.

5. Those who make this claim are either amateurs—they haven’t actually had a baby or raised one—or they aren’t committed to doing a good job at it.  Anyone who has been dedicated to raising their children and being a good homemaker and wife knows it takes a lot of talent, strength, and creativity to do well. If you’ve never done it, you must consider yourself inexperienced. Amateurs shouldn’t counsel professionals!
 
   If women are supported and encouraged, wherever possible, to have babies and lovingly raise them to be good and productive citizens of a nation, their country will be strengthened and the next generation will have the best chance of being strong and well adjusted. What we do as the world’s mothers might seem small, but it’s foundational to healthy civilizations.

The Most Important Factor in Human Happiness - A Harvard Study

Richard Forsyth

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   I just came across this very interesting Harvard study I wanted to share: CLICK HERE to see the article.  Since Fascinating Womanhood is all about developing quality relationships, I think you will enjoy this timeless message.

   By way of a basic summary, they have concluded that the biggest indicator of happiness and fulfillment is love.  It's not the quantity, but the quality in our relationships that counts, and it translates to physical health and long life too.  I hope you enjoy the read as I did. There's also a short video. 

~ Dixie Andelin Forsyth

 

Romance is Different for Women than Men

Richard Forsyth

~ By Dixie Andelin Forsyth

   When Bob and I were dating, I was ready to say “yes” to getting married before he was ready to ask. The reason, (I found out later) wasn’t because he wasn’t in love with me. It was because he was concerned with how he would even buy me a ring, let alone financially take on the responsibilities of a wife and possibly a family. He was a student with most of his education ahead of him. For years I thought I knew I wanted to marry him sooner than he did me. It wasn’t true at all. Bob was compartmentalizing it while I didn’t much care about how we would afford to be married. Once he figured it out (He decided to trust God and go ahead) he proposed right away. Was he unromantic? Not at all. We focus differently.

   Want to know how men approach romance? I’ll get to that in a second.  For me, it’s all about my feelings—I don’t feel I can even live without him. I think of him and his arms around me constantly and how that feels. For him, it’s more about a particular focus. Men are extremely emotional and if they let their feelings take over, it makes them feel more vulnerable so they compartmentalize.  They look at most things as a task rather than as a relationship, not because they don’t feel deeply about the woman they love, but to feel some sense of control. That doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t important. It’s incredibly important.

   Being compartmentalized makes you less aware of all the elements of a relationship at any given time. Men can be very romantic—but there is a goal involved with it. What’s the goal? It could be a lot of things but there is so much going on around you, so many things to focus on, men use a sort of “mental eraser” to block out everything around them that doesn’t apply at the moment. Men have to be relaxed enough to allow feelings and emotion (their heart) to come to the forefront. This is because, by definition, if you’re task oriented, like men tend to be, you must block out any overload of emotion because it will distract you from reaching a goal.

   Women are more in touch with their heart and emotions all at the same time. We are better at multitasking. Our lesser ability to compartmentalize works to our advantage when it comes to doing several things at once. We can be aware of our feelings about the one we love, while also working or driving or whatever. But it can be a disadvantage too—we can focus all the time on our romance and analyze every single detail wondering what the significance of each element is.

   As you understand the differences between how you view romance and how he does, it helps you be less likely to over analyze and more likely to be sympathetic with the way he does things, which will tend to deepen your relationship even more.
 
(There’s more about this subject in the new book coming out soon, “Fascinating Womanhood for the Timeless Woman)
 

One Small Candle

Richard Forsyth

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~ By an Anonymous Contributor

   My religion taught me to accept God’s ways, but it did not stress also accepting man’s. “For better or for worse” is fine, but no one said how to act when the worst in one’s husband is showing. All of these problems were really weighing down on me where even prayer did not seem to help, when a friend asked me to attend a Fascinating Womanhood class. It was a lucky day for me. It was like looking in a mirror and seeing your faults and having the answers ready.
It’s hard to believe the changes in our lives.

   My husband recently told a friend, “I have never been so much in love with my wife as I am right now.” We have come a long way back to the first beautiful years of our married life together, when I was so proud of everything he did.

   From the bottom of my heart I would like to thank my teacher for teaching me these principles. 
 

Not an Amazon Lady

Richard Forsyth

~ By an Anonymous Contributor

   I wish Fascinating Womanhood was required reading for every woman!

   Modern woman is bombarded from every angle with an image impossible to attain. According to what we see and hear, we are able to be at all times glamorous in appearance (even when we are cleaning house or romping outside with the children!), knowledgeable on a vast range of subjects, an excellent housekeeper and interior decorator, a cook who turns out dishes rivaling those of chefs who do nothing else, sexier than a movie star, involved in community affairs and improvement projects—all this in addition to being a loving and understanding wife and mother 24 hours a day and a great many cases holding down a full time job. Show me a woman who can handle all that, and I’ll show you the Amazon Lady!

   Fascinating Womanhood cuts through the fake, gets down to our real role in life, and gives us a satisfying role that we can handle, and the only one in which we can ever attain happiness.
I have been and continue to be amazed at the results of applying these simple principles. I have been half resentful because my mother did not teach them to me, and the other half compassionate because I realize her mother never taught her either. You can bet that our daughter will understand that there is a difference in the needs of men and women, and how to go about accepting and meeting those needs. She will have the freedom to reject the teaching, of course, but she can’t say she wasn’t told.

   Fascinating Womanhood has been a “how to get more out of living” course. Anything so simple that works so well and beautifully can’t be recommended too highly. Try it—you’ll like it!