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This blog page has been launched to promote femininity and female empowerment, and to raise visibility of Fascinating Womanhood: an international femininity movement and guide to help women make their marriage into a lifelong love affair in the bestselling book written by Helen B. Andelin.  

Timeless Principle - Is Femininity the Same as Being Seductive?

Richard Forsyth

   Is being feminine the same thing as being seductive? These are two different concepts. Some girls dress and behave as though their goal is seduction; interested and ready for sex. This might not be their intent. They may just want masculine attention. But the impression they are unconsciously giving to men, must be viewed through a man's perspective. Men notice a seductive woman. They are wired to notice!  The trouble with this approach is, there are a lot of men who are only interested in sex; not a long term attachment. Is this what you want?  In addition, a good, moral man might see such a woman as shallow and superficial and trying too hard. Trying too hard is code for low self esteem or not valuing yourself enough. 

   While attracting a man romantically will eventually involve sex if the relationship develops, it is not the main purpose of being feminine. There are some definite differences.

   Many women, especially young women try to attract men by dressing in a sexually provocative manner. It's kind of like going fishing. You might put the best bait in the world on your fabulous lure and go out in an expensive deep sea fishing boat in the hopes of catching a nice Swordfish, which by the way, would be worth quite a bit; (have you priced it lately?) or perhaps a tuna, also valuable. But when you cast your hook you really have no idea what precisely you will pull up. You might get a white shark or even a huge jellyfish (yuck; both dangerous). In the fishing scenario, if you caught something undesirable, you could just toss it back. 

   But if you're not careful, when it comes to men, you might end up with something you don't want; someone even dangerous.  He might even fool you into thinking he's a great catch. At first. In reality, it isn't easy to “throw him back”. Some of these kinds of “catches” are actually emotionally if not physically treacherous. You don’t want to catch the wrong sort of man. You don’t even want to be attracted to the wrong sort of man if you can help it. This is much harder to do since you can’t know details about a person immediately. By then you might find you are attracted; even married to him. Then things get complicated.

   When it comes to being beautiful versus seductive, it’s always better to leave something to the imagination. Just because you have a good body (or not) is a lousy reason to flaunt it to everyone. You will give the wrong impression. You want the love of your life and, if you are married, you want to keep your dearest one and have a lasting romance. 

Fishing for Seagulls

   Oscar went fishing in the ocean one day in hopes of catching a halibut. He put the right bait on his hook, had the right lure and was confident he would soon catch what he sought. Soon there was a tug on his line. To his surprise, he had caught a seagull! It came out of the water and flapped into the air. It was comical to see the gull flying high, the hook and line attached to it like a kite. After some attempt to reel in the bird and set it free, Oscar finally cut the line and let the bird go, losing his valuable lure in the process.

   Even when you use the right bait, you still aren’t sure of what you will catch so be careful; know the type of man you want. Get to know him well enough to make the best decision you can. You don’t want to get a shark or a jellyfish.

   There is much more to life than being seductive; in fact, it’s only a small part. Do you intend to make sex the biggest focus into your 90’s? If not, you need to be sure your plan will work both in your 20’s and your old age. You can be feminine, charming and have sex appeal without constantly being seductive.