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This blog page has been launched to promote femininity and female empowerment, and to raise visibility of Fascinating Womanhood: an international femininity movement and guide to help women make their marriage into a lifelong love affair in the bestselling book written by Helen B. Andelin.  

We Were Poles Apart

Richard Forsyth

This post was submitted to Fascinating Womanhood as a success story and was not altered.   

   “In no way was I dependent on my husband. I was a college graduate and my husband high school only. I have a quick mind. His is slower, more methodical. We were highly successful in our chosen careers. When we married, both of us were used to being completely independent. When we married, both of us were used to being completely independent. On top of this, when my parents realized I had to beg my husband for every penny I got, they made me financially independent. Since there was nothing dependent about me, this part of FW was rough for me.
    My husband made big money but spent most of it on himself. He always said he wanted it all spent when he died and proved this by canceling his life insurance the day he was told he had cancer. His attitude in the home was “If Liz does it right, it’s her duty; if she does it wrong, she catches heck.” It was not a happy marriage for either of us. Yet we were stable and neither sought divorce.
    His work was exciting and carried us all over the world. Both of us created good lives for ourselves, outside of each other. We lived in the same house, slept in the same bed, our sex life was good, but we were poles apart—no common interests, no sharing. He rarely confided in me or permitted me to confide in him. When I tried to share he would cut me down with “I’m not interested.”
    Then I took the Fascinating Womanhood course. I took it seriously. I gave it a real try! I did everything FW suggested, whether I agreed with the principal or not. Sometimes I felt like a fool trying. I especially worked on becoming dependent and trusting, even though I feared trusting my husband.
    Let me tell you what actually happened: this husband, who one year before was harsh, critical, overbearing and a tightwad, turned into a tender, thoughtful, loving man. Not perfect, but it was a miracle. This man who wanted nothing for his wife, should he die, has now paid off the mortgage on our home and set up a handsome pension for me. He brings me coffee in bed. There’s a delightful companionship and sharing between us. I believe the real miracle began when I started being dependent.”