~ By an Anonymous Contributor,
When I enrolled in a Fascinating Womanhood course, I wasn’t prepared for all the changes that were to take place in my life! To begin with, our marriage wasn’t “that bad,” so I felt there was little room for improvement. Besides, I had read The Fascinating Girl prior to our marriage and had really applied it in our courtship days and the early days of our marriage.
This class showed me how far I had slipped from being y husband’s ideal woman in the past four years. I found out that the honeymoon doesn’t always end just because “it always does”, but that I had brought it to an end by trying to help my husband run his life. I was constantly offering well-meaning advice regarding his education, careers, and finances. And he was constantly ignoring that advice or fighting it, which brought up a huge wall of reserve between us. Although we loved each other, we neither one was enjoying each other’s company that much. And the funny part is I honestly thought it was all his fault and that if he’d follow my suggestions, we’d be happier. I rated our marriage in the workbook as, “happy to very happy”—the “extremely happy” option seemed such a fairy tale, I couldn’t believe anyone could have that!
When I suddenly began admiring my husband again and accepting him as he was, he said, “Oh, that’ll wear off in two weeks or so.” I really don’t think he accepted anything I said for about a month, because it was so “out of character” for me.
The turning point in our marriage came when I made a book for our 2-year-old son about “My Daddy.” I used a lot of photographs of the two of them together and of my husband doing manly things. I glued them on construction paper pages, adding captions making reference to hard Daddy works, his “strong muscles,” and how smart he is. When my husband saw the book, he actually became misty-eyed. He said, “This is really beautiful—you are so creative…I think every child should have something like this to help him realize what Daddies are for.” I said, “Well, we realize, and I really appreciate all you do for us.”
From then on, he’s been a different man. He finally realized that the admiration was coming from my heart. Since that time, we have truly had an “extremely happy” marriage. He’s been working out of town lately and only comes home on weekends. In years prior, I have spent similar weekends pouting and complaining about how little I saw him. This year, the weekends are like honeymoons. He is anxious to come home and we spend the whole time together and are really communicating.
He is much more physically affectionate and often tells me how happy he is. He brings me little gifts and surprises and I have absolutely no complaints. One of the nicest things he has done for me recently is to plan a vacation for us. He has always known that I love to travel by car and that I have wanted to take a trip to Missouri (where we met). Each year when I have asked him, he has said, “You know I don’t ever like to travel. If we go anywhere, we’ll fly.” This year I didn’t even mention a vacation. One day, out of the blue he said, “Why don’t we go to Missouri this May?” I nearly flipped! Slipping into my “old self” a moment, I began to help him plan. I said, “We could probably fly and it would cost about the same.” He said, “No—I want to drive. We’ve never been on a real vacation by car.”
How’s that for success?