~ By Helen Andelin,
We keep stressing acceptance since it is so important to a happy marriage. Without acceptance, the rest of Fascinating Womanhood is like “sounding brass”.
When acceptance is sincerely applied, it brings about the most fantastic wonders. When not lived, it can cause the relationship to be “out of commission”. It is like putting sand into a machine.
The trouble is that a woman can accept her husband one week, and then the next week she peeps into the door of his faults and before she knows it, she is out there again, looking at his bad side and losing her Fascinating Womanhood charm along with it. At this point it can be pretty discouraging for she will feel like she has to start all over again. Here is how one woman bounced back.
Bouncing Back Again
It was final exam week at the university just prior to my husband’s graduation. It had taken him seven years to complete college as he had to stop and work full time every so often to support our growing family. He held jobs while attending school also and held positions in church as well as carrying out home responsibilities. He had had many moments of feeling sad and discouraged. He couldn’t see his accomplishments. All he could see was the time it had taken him to get through college.
I hadn’t helped much. The only time I praised him was when he had problems, and then I didn’t do it in the right way. I thought I was helping by pointing out his mistakes and ways to do better.
One the day my sister-in-law enthusiastically told me about Fascinating Womanhood, I started reading it chapter by chapter and applying it to my life.
When I got to the first assignment---to accept a man at face value, I was just thrilled because it told exactly how to do it and what to say instead of just “do’s and don’ts”. I read it over and over again and when my husband came home I was all worked up about it, yet so nervous I was almost trembling.
I told him I was glad he was the kind of man he is and that I could see I hadn’t understood him in the past, admitting I had made many mistakes and that I was glad he wasn’t putty in my hands, but had the courage of his convictions.
It was just like turning on a radio. His expression changed and his whole being seemed to be affected. He started radiating happiness instead of misery. He treated me like a queen. He even started opening my car door for me!
The other day, he took me to our dream home site and told me what wonderful plans he has for me and our family (we have five children). He is in summer school now and thought he would only be home twice, but he has made it home every weekend. He told me I was the loveliest wife in the world.
Thank you so much for making me the person I’ve always wanted to be. I feel like a queen in my castle again!