Fascinating Womanhood Timeless Principle – Will it Hurt My Marriage to Work Outside my Home after my Kids are Older?
~ By DAF
Women ask me frequently if it will hurt their marriage to work, even after their children are a little older or even grown and gone. The answer is, it doesn’t have to.
In my mother’s book, she indicated that having a job or career outside the home could significantly hurt or diminish your ability to live the principles of Fascinating Womanhood. Knowing her as well as I did, I believe she said that primarily as an attempt to protect women, especially mothers, from having to “do it all.”
We all know that when women work outside the home, in full or part time jobs, we almost always have to handle double duty. We still accept the greatest share of raising children, taking care of our homes and shopping, plus running errands. Being a mother is a full time job in the first place. Marriages could be affected when our nerves are strained and we have too little time for self care. There are many variables. But what about after the kids are in school or are grown and gone?
Most women have lots of highly productive years after kids have left home. Some situations require us to work and bring in extra income. The act of working outside the home doesn’t have to be contrary to living Fascinating Womanhood.
The key is in living the principles.
Always make your husband number one. Understanding men and admiration consistently have a positive impact. Also, femininity, accentuating the differences and charm don’t have to disappear because you work for pay. Stick to the timeless values and you won’t go wrong.
We live in a time where many feminists have taught their sons that women not only can get jobs outside the home, but should. I have heard some men and women say they were taught that to be a stay at home mother is to be lazy: watching TV all day and eating junk food. Those children are now grown and have families of their own. Their perception of a wife and mother is often distorted and results in mixed messages. These include things like, “It’s easy and takes little intelligence to raise children and run a home” on top of “pull your weight;” even though women usually pull more than their weight, especially if she is also employed.
Here’s another one: “Women need to put career and children first”. That leaves your husband marginalized and invalidated. How many jokes are there about the husband being one of the kids and in the way? Fascinating Womanhood teaches that your relationship with your husband should always be number one. Everything else follows from that. It’s hard to do that, plus children, plus your home, all the while handling full time employment.
We need to work to correct this faulty perception taught in their childhood by their own mothers. Priorities have to be set and after all, we aren’t super human. Meanwhile, we need to be tolerant and understanding. Changes in perspective take time and experience. If you find you need to work for any reason, whether your children are young or gone, you can still be a fascinating woman. You will have to get very good at multi tasking and perhaps scheduling your time but your F.W. attitude might just be what makes the difference.