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This blog page has been launched to promote femininity and female empowerment, and to raise visibility of Fascinating Womanhood: an international femininity movement and guide to help women make their marriage into a lifelong love affair in the bestselling book written by Helen B. Andelin.  

Feminine Power - Why it’s not a compliment when a man says we “have balls.”

Richard Forsyth

   The other day I read an article where an A-list male movie star gave a dubious compliment to a women celebrity by Tweeting out “She has balls”, referring to a political stance she had made.

   When I read that, I sort of cringed and began to contemplate why I always have that reaction. It’s supposed to be a compliment right? Then I understood.
Women not only do not have that body part but, we have no need of them, even figuratively. Besides, that word is a bit crass, don’t you think?

   Have you ever thought a “compliment” like that is actually an insult to a woman? Though usually uttered as a positive, it’s like someone said “Hey! You have courage! That’s a masculine trait, like we have. Feminine women don’t have that.” Without “balls”, does this male celebrity assume, even without being conscious of it, that women aren’t brave or strong? I’m not a feminist. Not remotely. But I also take issue with the notion that to be strong, we must possess male physical or emotional strength. There are more types of strength than the masculine or physical kinds.

   Feminine power is not masculine power yet it can be incredibly effective. The key to it is influence, not brute force, armies, sales tactics or money. It’s the power implemented by Mother Teresa, Princess Diana and many other women throughout history. It includes women like us who figure out a little of our feminine influence and use it for good. It can be used for evil too but, we aren’t interested in that. And the results from the misuse of feminine power don’t tend last anyway so who wants it?

   We respect men and their masculinity. As Tasha Tudor said: “….I’m very fond of men. I think they are wonderful creatures. I love them dearly. But I don’t want to look like one”….

   We don’t need or want to act like them either. We are women. We have feminine power and influence. We don’t require and aren’t even good at wearing masculine power. It takes away from our femininity, which we treasure. If we try to be masculine, we’ll only be a very poor imitation of it. So if anyone ever tries to “compliment” you by telling you that you sure “have balls”, they probably mean well but it’s not really a compliment. Know who you are. Know where your influence has greatest potential. You are a feminine woman.

   Love it and live it with Fascinating Womanhood principles.