By Nikki Hunter - Authorized Fascinating Womanhood Teacher
The very first quality that a woman studies in Fascinating Womanhood is acceptance. Though the chapter in FW about this is titled Accept Him, in our day and age, I wholeheartedly believe that the woman reading should take the time to apply the principles of acceptance to herself, as well. Why? First, because acceptance is the foundation for any healthy relationship, whether that be a marriage or developing a relationship with oneself, i.e. learning to love oneself.
Accepting a person means that one makes the conscious decision to accept a person just as they are, right at this moment. It means to take an honest look at this person’s faults (which include bad habits, lack of character, etc.), but also this person’s virtues (good things about this person). In FW, we take an honest look at our husbands. In my FW classes, each woman also takes an honest look at herself.
Taking an honest look at oneself is the most freeing thing a woman can do. In fact, the biggest, lasting changes in a woman’s life often occur after she comes to self-acceptance. I have seen this several times in my lifetime. Here’s a quite profound example:
A very good looking, in-shape young lady married, had several children, and became obese over several years. As she gained weight, she lost self-esteem, and her looks clearly reflected this. She looked and felt sloppy and unwell.
Due to her weight, she began having health problems which seriously worried her. This was a very unhappy time in her life. She worried constantly about her health, her eating was out of control, she didn’t feel well in any aspect, she felt absolutely repulsive and ugly, and she was ashamed of herself.
One day, out-of-the-blue, she caught a look at herself in the mirror, and for some reason, she truly saw herself not just physically, but in every aspect inside and out. She broke down. She acknowledged things in her past and present that hurt her and shaped her life, whether for the good or bad. She looked at every mistake she had made in her life right up to that point and owned every one of them. She forgave herself completely. She gave herself credit for her good qualities. She truly realized that she was as worthy of every speck of love and goodness that she felt others (especially her family members) deserved and got.
She completely owned that she was significantly obese at that time and decided that since that’s who she was right then and there, she was going to start looking as beautiful as she possibly could. She’d get her hair done nicely, start caring more for her face and makeup, and dress femininely. She had been told for years that she was a beautiful person inside, and finally, due to self-acceptance, saw this in herself. She wanted her outside to match! She didn’t think about dieting at that time, because she was owning and loving herself for exactly who she was, right at that moment. By the way, I’ve never been more proud of, or loved that woman as much, as when I saw her reach the point of self-acceptance. She shone like a gem!
After some weeks of this newfound self-acceptance, this woman decided that since she loved herself, she did not deserve the physical ailments that came from obesity. She would never allow someone she loved to suffer physically if she could help it, and now, she loved herself the same way! She made up her mind to lose the extra weight and did!
As she lost weight, her health improved. She got down to a normal size and wow, she honestly had never looked more beautiful! She was even, dare I say, sexy! She alleviated all of her obesity and overweight medical problems and became healthy again!
Like all women who lose significant amounts of weight, her weight loss and transformation wasn’t just about physical pounds/weight, it was about heaps of things inside (emotionally) that were weighing her down. When she accepted herself completely and fully, she finally opened up the doorway to releasing all of the weight that had been bringing her more and more down.
As you can see by the example above, acceptance is the most freeing thing that can happen to a person. In the world of FW, it is also the most freeing thing that can happen to a marriage, and that’s why it is taught first. When we begin with the most freeing, honest look at a marriage relationship - which is all about two people - we free ourselves to transform it and make it as robustly beautiful, marvelous, whole, and healthy as possible!
I wish every woman reading this the freedom, beauty, amazing growth, and true, deep happiness that comes from self-acceptance and the full acceptance of one’s husband! Every single one of us is worthy of it!
To learn more about acceptance, and the equally amazing other qualities of Fascinating Womanhood, be sure to “Like” the official FW Facebook page, follow it on Instagram, and check the website often, as it is updated several times a week!