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Blog

This blog page has been launched to promote femininity and female empowerment, and to raise visibility of Fascinating Womanhood: an international femininity movement and guide to help women make their marriage into a lifelong love affair in the bestselling book written by Helen B. Andelin.  

How to Spot a Rat

Richard Forsyth

~ By DAF

HOW TO SPOT A RAT

Or Avoiding Not-So-Nice Guys
 
   Good men are amazing. They protect us, love us, and are our best friends. But unfortunately, not all men are great. In fact, some are rats---men we should stay far away from.
 
   But how can you tell a man who has the qualities of a wonderful husband from a guy who is a nightmare? If you meet men on the internet, you will be a bit more limited in your ability to gather optimum information, but there are still many clues. Here are a few to look for whether you meet him in real life or online:
 
1.      Is he superficial? Though he might be charming, does he talk more about himself or shallow subjects (his car, clothes, jewelry, video games, overly focused on his looks or yours etc.)  than anything substantial?
2.      Is he often critical of others such as colleagues, family or friends? Does he constantly talk about how “stupid” others are?
3.      Is he a self-promoter? Does he talk a lot about how great he is, his accomplishments and how much money he is going to make (or has made)? Men who a lot about themselves are much more likely to be narcissistic and selfish.
4.      Is he unambitious or lazy? Does he have life goals? Does he talk about his work, his education, friends and family or does he talk more about video games and what fun thing he is going to do next?
5.      Is he more interested in finding truth or being politically correct?
6.      Does he talk about personal growth? Is he interested in doing what’s right?
7.      Is he spiritual and interested in a Higher Power? Men who are interested in spiritual things are more likely to be interested in being honorable.
8.      Does he talk graphically about sex? This is a big clue as to what is most important to him about his relationship with you.
9.      Is he willing to wait until after marriage for sex? There are many women today who assume that sex before marriage is a given. It’s actually high-risk behavior. Men who use women or who have little substance to them seldom, if ever, will stay with a woman who is determined to wait until marriage to give herself fully to him. There are other reasons outlined in my new book soon to be available “Fascinating Womanhood for the Timeless Woman.”
10.  Does he constantly flatter you and tell you how beautiful you are, yet doesn’t seem to respect you?
 
   These are some of the more obvious behaviors and attitudes to look for, but there are even more.  

   Even though a superficial man might be charming, as you get to know him and spend time with him, you can become aware of warning vibes. If you are aware, he will let slip some things no matter how he tries, especially when hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, or under the influences of substances such as drugs or alcohol.

   If you meet a man who fits one or more of these characteristics, it doesn’t mean conclusively that he someone to not consider. But you should be careful. He might be a man who wants to be a good guy but has low self-esteem, or perhaps he’s been through a lot. But remember, you can change only yourself. You can’t change him.  Feminine power allows you to have sometimes astonishing influence on others but it’s influence, not overt control. What that means is, if you try to exert your feminine power in order to change another, it won’t have the desired effect.  

   Our greatest strength lies in accepting others as they are and trying to live in a character-driven, feminine way. Our charm and love for others does more to influence them than manipulation ever could.

   He might change, but don’t plan on it. You must be wise.  You are a feminine woman of immeasurable worth. There are lots of wonderful men still out there—that’s what you want. These are men who honor masculinity as well as femininity.  Using the principles of F.W. can do more to help you find him than you can imagine. But you need to avoid the sort of man who might disrespect, hurt or abuse you.