~ By Dixie Andelin Forsyth, President of Fascinating Womanhood
I have received some requests for advice on how to implement F.W. in relationships with men other than husband or boyfriends. This could include, all male members of your family, co-workers, bosses, and even strangers at the store.
Being a fascinating woman is who you are, inside and out. It’s not something you act like or put on. But there are just a few differences when applying your charm to others you aren’t interested in romantically.
When I was growing up, I got to see my mother using FW principles with my four brothers, my uncles and her father. The basic principles in understanding men apply to all men with the exceptions of making him number one, supporting him in his need to provide (protect is still a factor), and anything of a romantic nature of course.
Since my grandfather and uncles didn’t live in our home, I didn’t see her using FW principles as often with them—so I’ll focus on how she treated my brothers. When it came to my father, all areas of FW applied.
The areas my mother focused on with my four brothers included:
Acceptance at Face Value
All men need to feel accepted for who they are. This is a basic human principle that also applies to women. It means you don’t set a goal to change him but appreciate all the men (or boys) in your life for who they are—just as they are. It doesn’t mean, when it comes to male children, that you set no boundaries and let them do as they want. Rather, your accepting them helps them feel accepted by you now—weaknesses and all. It helps to encourage them to want to become better. Mom didn’t make a habit of telling them how they didn’t measure up and never compared them to other boys.
“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves” ~ Dr. Steve Maraboli
All men thrive on admiration. It helps them to feel manlier and more worthwhile. It’s also easy to do and doesn’t cost a thing. The important thing is that your admiration must be sincere and specific. Don’t say something like “You’re sure great”. He will be left wishing there was more. When you admire the men in your life, they will be confident that you appreciate masculinity and all the good character traits that go with it. Today there are so many women who are sarcastic about men and anything to do with males---some men falsely think that we wish them to be less manly. I remember Mom admiring my brothers’ muscles and their ability to lift heavier things than she could. She also praised them for their efforts in sports, especially their determination. In return, they rushed to her aid when she needed feminine help.
Because of F.W., my mother was able to understand masculine pride, my brothers tended to trust her emotionally. She knew what to do when they suffered a loss, a defeat, or didn’t do as well on an exam as they had hoped. She never put them down or marginalized their efforts and was sensitive to what wounded them.
My mother’s understanding of how to be sympathetic to my brothers’ embarrassments, fears and failures helped them to try again—often trying harder. They knew they were safe telling her the whole story about something that hurt or humiliated them. This principle is true for all men in your life. It is a free gift you can give to men without strings. They will appreciate it and trust you more. Women excel at being able to do this—we tend to be the nurturers in relationships. This quality can help you in any area of your life, whether it’s in your private or your work life.
We need more masculine men in this world—men who are honorable and feel appreciated for their chivalrous desires to protect and help us where we aren’t able. You can have a valuable influence on all the men in your life. They are starving for it.