~ By Dixie Andelin Forsyth
I recently came across this article entitled, “8 Serious Advantages Being Single Has Over being in a Relationship.”
Rather than offering 8 advantages to being single, it offers a seriously dysfunctional approach to life. Each point is based on self-serving pleasure and “me first” but it also assumes that any relationship is guaranteed to be turbulent and not worth it.
They assert you will be happier being single because:
1. You don’t have to deal with drama
2. You won’t be unhappy
3. You have time for yourself
4. You can focus on friendships
5. You have freedom
6. You can have guys (or girls) night, minus the guilt.
7. No one to be jealous
8. You don’t have to force relationships with other people. Here they’re talking about having to be friendly with your significant other’s family or friends, even having them over socially when you don’t want to.
If all people adopted this advice, the human race would cease to exist. No one would want to put in the effort and expense of having or raising children. But also, happiness comes from learning and growing, not just minimizing or even working to eliminate anything that is stressful. The idea that appeasing a “me first” attitude is healthy shows no real understanding of how to be happy.
The truth is more like this: If you reject the idea of developing close relationships, especially marriage, because of the above reasons:
1. You’ll be lonely and self-absorbed and you’ll stay immature.
2. You will be unhappy
3. You’ll have too much time for yourself. It’s all about balance.
4. You won’t have any real friends since all your relationships will be superficial. Besides, you won’t have the patience for the “drama” and amount of time real friendships take to develop.
5. You’ll have a certain type of freedom, yes, but with no one to believe in and support you.
6. You’ll have so many guys or girls’ nights out it will never seem special.
7. You’ll be jealous of other’s solid relationships and friends.
8. Everyone is forced to have relationships with others at some point or another. It’s part of being an adult and you'll never really grow up until you deal with it.
Whether it’s with co-workers, friends or your own family of origin, unless you’re determined to be a hermit, most people must find a way to get along with a variety of types of people. It’s good for us.
But perhaps the biggest lie in this article is the conception that anyone can have a happy, fulfilled life with no one in their life they are truly close to. No one to be a witness to their life. The deep happiness and joy that comes from being with, serving and enjoying a deeply romantic relationship with someone you adore is priceless. These relationships aren’t magic. They are based on real principles that work. To live the life this article promotes, cuts out all possibility of ever having the deepest kind of love that exists.
This is the kind of love that Fascinating Womanhood is dedicated to helping women achieve. It helps us shift from thinking of relationships as burdens, as this article implies, to opportunities to develop your own lifelong love affair with the man you love.
“Only a life lived for others is worth living” ~ Albert Einstein