~ By an Anonymous Contributor
About 2 ½ years ago an article entitled, “Expect a Miracle” influenced me to think, “What would I like for a miracle?” Immediately I thought, “A miracle in our marriage relationship. If only George would have a deep, deep love for me. And I’d like to be head over heels in love with him.” So, I began to pray regularly for this miracle.
About 6 months later a friend loaned me Fascinating Womanhood. I knew it was a gift from the Lord and my answer, because it showed me what I was doing wrong and how to be the kind of wife God wants me to be. First of all, I learned I was not accepting George as he was. I was not satisfied with what the Lord had given me. I wanted to change George.
I spent my thinking time looking at his bad side, criticizing him in my heart. Naturally, this came through my attitude. I mulled over his shortcomings and ignored his good side. All the wonderful things about him I just took as a matter of course. I simply did not think to comment about them or even know about them. Undoubtedly this appeared to him as indifference.
As soon as I learned about focusing on his good side and expressing my admiration, I began practicing it. He never tires of hearing it. I don’t either.
Immediately, our relationship began to improve. As I concentrated on his better side, his faults became insignificant. He began to say the nicest things to me. I am keeping a list of treasures he has said to me, such as, “I love you more and more all the time” and, “I enjoy living with you.” Before he would say, “I love you” but that’s all, no loving endearments. He had been extremely stingy with money. Now he began buying me anything I asked for. At that time we’d been married 16 years and I had been cooking with very inadequate pans. He bought me a set of heavy aluminum pans that I had wanted. I could go on and on. Also, he began to take interest in our children.
Occasionally, I slip back into my old faultfinding ways. The atmosphere of our home goes kerplunk. The kids crab and fight more. George is his old self. Everything is awful! The funny thing is it’s immediate. All I have to do is change my attitude and everything is different. It doesn’t take more than 5 minutes to change either to the good or the bad.
That’s what happened about three months ago. I thought, “Nobody appreciates me. No one cares. All I do is give, give, give. I’m tired of it. I’m not doing anything more. I’m just going to be myself.” (Which probably meant my old self.) I stopped reading and studying Fascinating Womanhood.
What I went through! The depths of despair, the unhappiness, the tears upon tears. Everyone was miserable. Finally, I decided to go back to Fascinating Womanhood. That was a few weeks ago. Last night George said, “You’re so loveable.”
Last night he said something else that was beautiful. About 2 years after we were married, George told me he preferred brown eyes. This broke my heart and crushed my spirit because I felt it was a basic rejection of me (I have blue eyes). Last night he made some nice comments about my blue eyes and I said, “No, you don’t. You told me you prefer brown eyes.” He said, “No, I don’t” and I said, “You told me you do.” He said, “I changed my mind about 2 years ago.” This was when I started to practice Fascinating Womanhood. You can imagine how deeply happy I felt.” I got my miracle!