~ By an Anonymous Contributor
"We've been married 20 years, have five children who all still live with us, and I'm still madly attracted to you. I'm gonna be chasing you around all weekend. You're better than EVER! Is this even normal?!"
- My husband commented as we had a rare alone moment with coffee on our porch swing early this morning.
He added he knows my birthday is coming up and I want a purse and he was talking getting me an expensive purse. (I'm a simple gal. A simple purse is more than sufficient, I was just blown away by his enthusiasm at spending frivolously for me.)
Practicing FASCINATING WOMANHOOD is the only thing that has changed in me since three months ago when he told me he was fed up with me (insert some choice words) wanting as little time as possible with me because I was impossible to live with, he was at his wits end sensing I was displeased, he couldn’t measure up, we were stalled continually at a communication impasse where I fought it out with him as an equal (man to man), I was focused on the children's needs and frustrated to the hilt with my husband. (Of course, children have needs and we ought to be sensitive and aware of their genuine needs but I am discovering it actually goes much better for them included when I put my husband as #1.)
I have the same physical features, same hair, same weight, same personality, I love Jesus and try to follow Him in my daily living, I am the SAME PERSON I was when he couldn't stand me.
All except my attitude toward him and being reminded of how important understanding of men is.
Yesterday he had come to me when I disappeared into our room asking what was wrong, "I feel frumpy," (hair disheveled, clothes pieced haphazardly, three children have colds, one has complications from wisdom tooth extraction, our eating isn't as healthy as I usually try to keep it) "and my sugar free ice cream cone melted and broke before I had a chance to enjoy it. I'm sorry, I'll be okay I'm just a bit irritable unfortunately." I dropped my head.
He patted me reassuringly. "I'm sorry about your ice cream cone hun. You look fine. You're only frumpy when you have an attitude."
I perked up and thanked him for his encouragement.
It was insightful to hear, yet again, my attitude speaks considerably louder than the external in the long run.
It's been two months since reopening Fascinating Womanhood. I stand in awe how much improvement can happen in two months. By changing me, our marriage has without a doubt changed. Without a doubt. It's not always easy to be intentional, self-controlled, willing to humble myself, be kind, or childlike (when I want to be angry), accept, appreciate, admire tirelessly.. actually, I don't do these things tirelessly. Days like yesterday prove how I get weary of well-doing. But it won't derail me or my marriage if I can stay connected to the Source of my strength, while maintaining a bit of femininity through the storm. Humbling myself is hard for me. Also allowing his efforts to cheer me instead of staying sullen- it gives him a boost and keeps him coming back as he sees it works. Snapping out of an attitude is tough on this melancholy soul but it's possible! And our feeling, surprisingly, often follow.
It's worth every effort. My husband is so much more loving and tender toward me. (And the children.) He has continued to quit tobacco (which I had determined to accept and stop nettling him about only month earlier), he has been so much happier, more affectionate, offered to get a vasectomy so I won't have to go through surgery myself, is willing to come to my aid, he still has a negative outlook on life at times, pessimism, etc., but everything lightens up when I can learn to respond in feminine, childlike, unthreatening little ways. I think Fascinating Womanhood is good for both of our health.
I'm rediscovering this incredible, deep, kind, wise, amazing manly hunk I married over 20 years ago as I look to understand and embrace 100% of the man he is.