~ By K'lon Massaro, Certified Fascinating Womanhood Teacher
Maybe you are arguing with your husband because he is spending too much time with the guys most nights, or he doesn't help you to do anything around house or he doesn't help you with the kids when he comes home from work or even when he gets a day off from work, You are always arguing about his faults every time he is home.
I know as women and mothers we spend a lot doing a great deal for our family. You cook, You keep the home and kids clean, you shop for the food and clothing, make sure the kids get to and from school, you help with homework, you may even have a career or business of your own to run every day, and with all those things you have to be his wife.
Have you ever thought that he might still be doing those things because you keep fighting him about it?
When you refuse to accept your husband for who he is and keep arguing with him, nagging him, ridiculing his faults, even to the point of insults. he will build a very thick wall, the longer it goes on, the thicker that wall becomes, and before you know it that barrier is soo solid that he just tune you out completely.
What many of us as wives may not understand is that our husbands might be struggling internally sometimes it could be with their own insecurities.
It could be work related where he may feel the pressure that he has to compete to keep his job, why? to wants to be able to provide for his family.
Maybe he is feeling like a failure that he is not doing enough for his family, and believe it or not if he is not doing the right things, he already knows. You arguing with him about it makes him feel more of a failure because it would make him feel unworthy of you. After a full day of work, he is tired and just wants to rest to recuperate for the next day.
So how do you flip your thinking toward him? Providing there is no abuse. If you want to be happy, and you want to win his heart, the key here is to accept your husband at face value and don't try to change him.
Accepting your husband as he is when he makes mistakes, it's not you thinking lowly of yourself or having less power. It's about you focusing on the beautiful things about him.
Men don't like to be mothered by their wives, they want to be accepted, respected and admired by us, even in their mistakes.
Tell him how much you are grateful that he goes out every day to work very hard to provide for you and the children, and you recognize it is not always easy and you understand he is tired after a hard day of work.
Thank him every time he does something great, and on the days he doesn't keep his promises, you can just say "I know you are capable of doing anything for the woman you love, so it's all in your hands darling."