~ From an Anonymous Contributor,
I want to tell you how Fascinating Womanhood has changed my life. My husband and I married very young. I wanted to badly to be a good wife, the kind you read about in love stories. I wanted to be fascinating and loving and soft.
I came from a family where my mother hated housework, cooking, us kids and everything womanly. I had no one to copy or show me how to be who I longed to be. I didn’t fit in my mother’s world or the feminist world. I looked at marriage with both wishfulness and fear.
I wanted marriage, but I wanted a special kind of marriage, one where outsiders could just feel the love surrounding my family. I didn’t want the kind of marriage I found with all my neighbors and friends, with the wife telling the man what to do., always yelling and screaming, demanding her way. I wanted more than just a man and woman living under the same roof.
Only I felt that maybe the only people who live like this are the ones who live in the children’s bedtime stories.
Then I met my husband. He was young, but he had good basic qualities and soon he had my heart. I thought with this boy I could have the kind of marriage I dreamed of.
Anxious to be a wife, homemaker and mother, we started a family right away. I got pregnant within a few months, just in time to see my dreams falling apart. My husband spent most of his time with “the boys.” When he was home he was always drinking, yelling, and slapping me around. He never asked me to do anything. He ordered. I feared him and almost hated him, but I came from a family who believed when you “made your bed, you lie in it.” I had nowhere to go and a baby due any day. I felt helpless, trapped, and a complete failure as a woman. Where had things gone wrong?
When my baby was born, my husband started to change and I could see part of that person I once had loved return. He was a fabulous father, but things didn’t change between us. He still slapped me around, wouldn’t come home until 10:00 or later, every night, from being out with the boys, and he would pick fights with me when he was home. This went on for four and a half years. I hated being married, I hated being a mother, and I hated men. I wanted a divorce. My dream of marriage was just that—a dream. I had tried so hard to be a good wife, how had I failed?
One day I was reading the paper and saw an article about Fascinating Womanhood. They described marriage just like my dream. Maybe, just maybe they could help me find who I am. How I hoped this was the answer to my prayers. I was so hopeful. I rushed down to a bookstore to buy a copy of Fascinating Womanhood weeks before the class was to start. Once I started to read, I knew this was the answer to my prayers! And I decided to start right now to live this way.
All of this time I had blamed my husband for our bad marriage. How wrong I was! I started to change, not him, but myself. I bought feminine dresses in soft colors with full skirts, I let my nails grow, I put a permanent in my hair—so much for the outside. Now I had to change the inside.
I started looking at just my husband’s good points. He was a good father. He was generous with money. He is a hard worker and a good leader—I could go on and on, and I did, to him. When I got up in the morning I tried to think of the good things that would happen that day, such as pretty wild flowers growing or a beautiful sunset. I thought of little things I could do to make my husband happy such as cooking what he likes or writing love notes to him about things he has done or said that made me happy. I made a point of forgetting all else to listen to him when he wanted to talk, even if it meant turning off the dinner or to stop folding the clothes. I did these and much more trying to show him all the ways, at all times I accept him as he is, a man, and leader of his family and I love and admire him.
I have been living Fascinating Womanhood for a year and a half now and you would never believe we are the same people. He takes me out to lunch, fishing, and almost everywhere he goes. Lots of times we just go for drives or window shopping. And where before he never bought me presents, even on my birthday or Christmas—now I get presents just because he loves me. He now enjoys buying me clothes and things for the house. Would you believe, we are even thinking about having another baby! And absolute no-no just 18 months ago.
Thanks to Fascinating Womanhood, I don’t drink of having a beautiful, warm, friendly, and loving marriage. I have one!!!
NOTE: Our testimonials only come from real contributors, most of whom prefer to remain anonymous. The images we use in association with anonymous stories are just stock supply. We encourage you to share your story so the entire community can grow and benefit. We promise to keep your details as anonymous as you desire. Thank you to all you fascinating women out there who continue to contribute. You are changing the world!