~ By an Anonymous Contributor,
At age 26 I resigned myself to being an old maid, never having a family of my own or finding a mate to share life with. Both of these last two goals seemed to come so easily to other women. I began to be puzzled and bitter—tortured with a complex because it looked as if I just couldn’t measure up to other women by landing a husband. Everyone told me how pretty I was, how well-dressed, how competent in my career and yet I could not to keep a man interested in me very long.
As a result, I often sank into states of depression, wore a sour look on my face, and gradually developed into a stereotypical image of an “old maid”—crotchety and self-righteous.
One night, while watching TV, I saw Helen Andelin and Beulah Hodge in the middle of an interview. They were discussing Fascinating Womanhood. After that, I went out and bought a copy and how glad I am that I did. Reading it made me realize it was my own fault I wasn’t sought after by men. I had put too much emphasis on outer appearance and not enough on inner charm. It was I and not the men of this world who had to change.
Putting this task before me, I set out to change my sour expression to one of joy, my independent manner to one of femininity, my unbending will of iron to one of yielding and my selfish concern to an attitude of concern for the feelings of others.
On dates with men, I had been firm in my opinions, critical of other people and just plain thoughtless. No wonder I “turned off” men. Nothing is more repulsive to men than a forthright female with positive opinions and aggressive manner. I read and reread Fascinating Womanhood, underlining in ink the important points I had to work on. (The Fascinating Girl had not been written yet). Gradually, the precepts of Fascinating Womanhood began to sink into my mind.
As luck would have it, I scanned a hobby paper and answered an ad wanting movie material, quoting sources I knew of. A week later, a note of thanks came from an advertiser. One thing led to another and soon he and I were corresponding regularly. From this man’s letters, I could sense he was a lonely person with little self-confidence. He was constantly making belittling remarks about himself and his looks. I saw in him a chance to practice the precepts of Fascinating Womanhood and at the same time, help comfort another human being. I had no idea it would lead to marriage.
My heart went out to this man because I knew too well how awful loneliness can be. In each letter I took every opportunity to admire him, to encourage him and to talk about himself and his interests and build up his badly deflated ego. He was thirty-four years old, a bachelor living at home and very much in need of a little old-fashioned admiration from a woman. His pride was nil. He had given up on all women and had withdrawn into a silent shell, living only for his hobby and leading a dull kind of life which seems to be the lot of those individuals who, for some reason, can’t seem to communicate and make a hit with the opposite sex.
Ever so slowly he let down his reserve and told me he looked forward to getting a letter from me. “You are the only women who has ever appreciated me,” he wrote. All along the crying need of his soul had been the attention of a woman. Years of self-depreciating melted away as I continued to make him feel my sincere regard for his many fine qualities.
For example, whenever he described himself as a “120-pound weakling”, I countered with a favorable comment on his physique; when he said he was clumsy and awkward, I wrote back that I found that impossible to believe from his letters and pictures. Being a sensitive person, he felt badly due to his lack of high school diploma and education. While he was a teenager, his mother became mentally ill and he had to quit school in the ninth grade and stay home and care for his small brothers and sisters. His father had died earlier.
When he revealed this to me I praised him for making such a noble sacrifice for his family. Each time he cut himself down, I tried to comfort his wounded pride.
Last month we met in person for the first time and hit it off very well. I continued to admire him in every way I could think of and, before my eyes, he changed from a timid, ill-at-ease man into a confident male who possessed a healthy ego, the same ego he had kept submerged for thirty-four years. Basking in the sun of a woman’s sincere appreciation was all he ever needed to make him feel equal to other men. Tears of love filled his eyes as he looked at me and declared, “You are the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me!”
Unexpectedly, I found myself worshiped, courted, and adored beyond my wildest daydreams. He turned out to be endlessly thoughtful, protective and romantic. Since then, he hasn’t stopped telling me how much he loves me. I hardly recognize the man I started writing to many months ago.
Fascinating Womanhood works! I am sure because next month we will be married and start a life of our own. Both our lives are changed.
Any woman who moves out into a man’s world to conquer it and compete with him is a fool. Not only is she a fool, but she is unknowingly destroying the chances of finding the very thing she is secretly looking for—the same thing every woman has wanted since Eve—the love of a good man. This philosophy is not a bag of tricks but a new way of life. The day I bought a copy of Fascinating Womanhood was the luckiest day of my life!
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