~ From an Anonymous Contributor,
It was final exam week at the university just prior to my husband’s graduation. It had taken him seven years to complete college as he had to stop and work full time every so often to support our growing family. He held jobs while attending school also and held positions in church, as well as carrying out home responsibilities.
He had many moments of feeling sad and discouraged. He couldn’t see his accomplishments. All he could see was the time it had taken him to get through college. I hadn’t helped much.
The only time I praised him was when he had problems and then I didn’t do it right. I had a very self-righteous attitude. I was handling the finances and trying to push I into greater activity in my church and nagging him to do things for me such as opening the car door. I thought I was helping him my pointing out his mistakes.
Then my sister-in-law enthusiastically told me about Fascinating Womanhood. I started reading it. I was thrilled because it told us exactly how to do it and what to say instead of just lots of do’s and don’ts. I read it over and over, and when my husband came home I was all worked up about it, yet so nervous I was trembling. I told him I was glad he is the kind of man he is and that I could see I had not understood him in the past, admitting I had made mistakes and that I was glad he hadn’t been putty in my hands, but had the courage of his convictions. I asked for forgiveness and told him I wanted to prove to him I liked him the way he is.
It was just like turning on a radio. His expression changed and his whole being seemed to be affected. He started radiating happiness instead of misery. The next day I applied admiration and told him I was proud of him for his courage in completing his education and not giving up as others would have done with the same hardships. I told him I appreciated how he worked to provide the necessities of life for us. I also explained to him that I realized I had been holding him back by trying to lead and that I really loved him just the way he is and that I would stop trying to change him.
This seemed turn the volume up more than it had been the day before. He treated me like a queen. He even started opening the car door for me. He started leading our family with kindness, love and strength that I had never seen in him before. He called family counsels regularly and I felt like we truly had a Celestial marriage.
What’s even better, the other day he took me to our dream homesite and told me what wonderful plans he had for me and our adorable family (five children). He is in summer school now and thought he would only be home twice, but he has made it home every weekend. He sang “Honey-eyed Girl” to me and told me I was the loveliest wife in the world.
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