~ From an Anonymous Contributor,
About two and a half years ago an article entitled “Expect a Miracle” influenced me to think, “What would I like for a miracle?” Immediately I thought, “A miracle in my marriage relationship.” If only George would have a deep, deep love for me. And I’d like to be head over heels in love with him.” So I began to pray regularly for this miracle.
About six months later, a friend loaned me Fascinating Womanhood. First of all, I learned I was not accepting George as he was. I wanted to change George.
I spent my thinking time looking to his bad side, criticizing him in my heart. Naturally, this came through in my attitude. I mulled over his shortcomings and ignored his good side. All the wonderful things about him I just took as a matter of course. I simply did not think to comment about them or even know about them. Undoubtedly this appeared to him as indifference. As soon as I learned about focusing on his good side and expressing my admiration. I began practicing it. He never tires of hearing it. I don’t either.
Immediately our relationship began to improve. As I concentrated on his better side, his faults became insignificant. He began to say the nicest things to me. I am keeping a list of treasures he has said to me, such as “I love you more and more all the time,” and “I enjoy living with you.” Before he would say, “I love you”, but that’s all. No loving endearments. He had been extremely stingy with money. Now he began buying me anything I asked for. At that time, we’d been married sixteen years and I had been cooking with very inadequate pans. He bought me a set o heavy aluminum pans that I wanted. I could go on and on. Also, he began to take an interest in the children.
Occasionally I slip back into my old fault-finding ways. When I do, the atmosphere of our home goes kerplunk--which means, everything falls apart fast. The kids grab and fight more. George is his old self. Everything is awful! The funny thing is, it’s immediate. All I have to do is change my attitude and everything is different. It doesn’t take more than five minutes to change either to the good or the bad.
That’s what happened about three months ago. I thought, “Nobody appreciates me. No one cares. All I do is give, give, give. I’m tired of it. I’m not doing it anymore. I’m just going to be myself.” Which meant my old self. I stopped reading and studying Fascinating Womanhood I read the Bible and prayed, but not as often.
What I went through! The depths of despair, the unhappiness, the tears upon tears. Everyone was miserable. Finally, I decided to go back to the FW way. That was a few weeks ago. Last night George said, “You’re so lovable.” I’d rather not go into what he said when I was going my own way.
Last night he said something else that was beautiful. To explain: About two years ago after we were married, George told me he preferred brown eyes. This broke my heart and crushed my spirit because I knew it was a basic rejection of me. I considered my blue eyes my best feature. Last night he made some nice comments about my blue eyes. I said, “That’s nice but you prefer brown eyes.” He said, “No, I don’t.” I said, “You told me you do.” He said, “I changed my mind about two years ago.” This was when I started practicing Fascinating Womanhood.
You can imagine how deeply happy I felt.
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