~ From an Anonymous Contributor,
We were constantly being moved every two or three years, and with each move my husband had a new job to manage and did not want the family to interfere with his time. A constant remark was, “When I get this under control I’ll be able to spend more time with the children, or help with the house, or have time to relax.”
I was a very capable person so I managed the children, did the household repairs, took care of the house, and was active in the community. In the meantime, my husband spent more and more time at work. He also drank more because of the pressure he was under—or so we both said. I criticized his devotion to his work, his drinking, his overeating, and finally decided to leave as we had stopped speaking. He usually was drunk when he arrived home so conversation was useless.
The children had left and I finally decided to leave, for watching him destroy himself was destroying me.
Then I picked up Fascinating Womanhood. What a shock to find all the things I had been doing wrong. I’d been so capable and independent that he wasn’t needed at home. People in the community admired me, for I was so kind and helpful, but my husband didn’t, for at home I was critical.
It was very difficult for me to change, but I kept trying an he started coming home a bit earlier and didn’t drink until he was home. Eight months later he stopped drinking for a year. We have been so happy. He comes home in the evening so glad to see me, calls me each noon to see how everything is. He is even buying Christmas gifts and is so proud of it.
He is drinking again and overeating too, but they don’t bother me now because I know they are his problems. He had started overdrinking and being secretive, because I used to nag so. One day I told him, “I don’t care if you drink as long as you control it.” He was so surprised at my saying “I don’t care” that he is much better now. I have given this book to many people now. We’ve had many discussions and it has helped so many of them too.
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