~ From an Anonymous Contributor,
My marriage was like so many, an armed truce. We had vowed ‘for better or for worse’ and it had been mostly for worse. My husband never wore his ring and spent little time with me or our two children. He made it very clear that he didn’t need me at all. His father had often yelled at and beaten his mother so my husband went the opposite direction. He seldom spoke and never touched me.
Just a half year after buying a new home, he was transferred 2, 200 miles away. The children and I stayed behind to sell the house. He went on to get a new house. I was to live in what HE picked. I was not considered at all.
One lonely day I was pouring out my heart to a friend, telling her what I had decided to do. I can’t count the times she said ‘That’s not what you should do!’ or ‘That’s not the way to handle it!’ I got mad at her, but undaunted still she persisted with F.W. and more F.W. I called her a Fascinating Womanhood fanatic! I decided to give it a try. What did I have to lose?
My husband flew home on weekends. I planned all week. It is a good thing he left Sunday evening for my self-control lasted about 2 day. Over those two days I pretended that things were as I wanted them to be and acted the part. When I met him at the airport I went early, parked the car and went to the gate. (Usually I met him out front). I dressed my most feminine. I built myself up to a breathless pitch. When I saw him coming, I ran to meet him and flung my arms around him telling him I was glad to see him and that I had missed him. Everyone in the area was looking. One would have thought he was returning after a year as a prisoner of war. He had always shunned any emotional display, even in private, calling it disgusting. Now he didn’t say anything but was touched. In the car I sat close, kept my mouth shut, my hand lightly touching him and with my eyes ‘drank’ him in. He was overwhelmed.
That was the beginning. Three weekends later he suggested I leave the children with my mother and join him for a week to select a house from several he had seen.
On that trip I expressed admiration for the beauty of the area, searched for the good and delightfully enjoyed it. I was the epitome of understanding. But the high point of the whole trip came one evening after we had decided to build.
We were staying at the home of a bachelor friend of his. I was doing the dinner dishes while my husband was showing the bachelor (who was very desirous of marriage) our plans. My husband began saying over and over things like ‘So you don't want to get married. Boy, you don’t know when you’re well off…look at the headaches a wife can bring.’
At first I took it as a joke, but soon it wasn’t funny anymore. As I scrubbed one plate I thought ‘If I hear him say that once more, I’ll really tell him.’ But then I thought ‘What have I read in F.W. about anger?’ I gave it a try. I turned around, stomped my foot and said ‘You big hairy beast! I am never going to like you again, ever!!’ and I walked out of the room, turning as I went to glance over my shoulder with a tiny smile. I don’t think he saw it. He was grinning from ear to ear. ‘Did you hear what she called me?’ he asked our host. ‘Did you hear?’
I found myself sitting in the bedroom thinking ‘great, but what now?’ My husband had never in eight years of marriage apologized for being inconsiderate of me. Yet not two minutes later he entered the bedroom, sat down beside me and said ‘I’m sorry and didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Will you forgive me?’ I’d have forgiven him anything at that moment. I enrolled in F.W. classes.
A couple of months later I received my first birthday card from my husband. It was special, not only because he remembered it, and even got the date right, but because he had selected a tiny card showing a cute hairy beast, suitcase in hand. It said ‘Happy Birthday, Lovingly, your Hairy Beast.’ He had actually looked for a special card.
It is now five years later. They have been the best five years of my life. There are many things I could tell but one highlight stand out above the rest. Our third child was born. It was an emergency c-section. My wonderful husband who truly can’t stand sickness or pain was with me every minute. The day I left the hospital the nurses told me they (all of them) had voted my husband the most loving, tender, romantic husband they had ever met. And he is!
Our marriage isn’t perfect. There are still some things which cause me pain. I have a long ways to go, but I know that when I am perfect, he will be perfect too. My prayer is that every woman could know and accept Fascinating Womanhood.
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