~ By Kirstin, a Fascinating Womanhood Contributor
My husband shared something very interesting with me this morning.
He was pondering aloud a situation where a husband and wife are having marriage troubles. Listening to him describe the feminine power a woman has over a man was so insightful! It was also confirming what Fascinating Womanhood teaches! My eyes were glued to him as he spoke. I felt like he'd read the book, but he hasn't once flipped through the book.
I thought of the poem in chapter 8, The Leader, pg. 112, as he spoke:
As unto the bow the cord is,So unto the man is the woman; Tho' she bends him, she obeys him; Tho' she draws him, yet she follows;Useless each without the other.-Longfellow
My husband agonized a bit over how women often try to be a 'team' like horses, while a better approach to getting the 'horse' (man) to move/change is to maybe coerce him with a carrot, as he chose to word it. He said he doesn't feel it's wrong for a woman to use her feminine powers to inspire a man to change, in fact, his words were, he thinks it's the way it should be! He said men in general don't mind a woman using her resources to better the home and family by using her feminine charms to move a man. But he did mention the man's need to have the final say. Which is precisely what Mrs. Andelin teaches, if I'm understanding her correctly.
I'd often wondered about this; how would a man feel if he knew I'd learned feminine influence and tried it on him. Would he feel wronged? I never outright asked Scot about this, but was all ears as he volunteered his take on it! I practice Fascinating Womanhood to change me. Interestingly, there have been such outstanding changes taking place in our marriage/family that I never dreamed would be a serendipitous consequence, at times I'm tempted to feel a bit manipulative! I'm happy my husband put these fears to rest one hundred percent as he seemed to give me freedom to be as fascinating as I like!
Feminism is a broken model! It doesn't work for anyone, including women!
Each week my jaw drops at how differently my husband responds not only to me but to our children when I live femininity.
As I put him first and his needs are met he is kinder, more patient, more involved, more trusting. Sometimes he is still negative and grumbles but rather than deride him or roll my eyes I accept him at face value, recognize it's possibly because of his high ideals, and try to give sympathetic understanding, or possibly a splash of childlike sass. Which amazingly causes him to square his shoulders and say it's not so bad after all! I guess it's true that when a man senses gentleness and sympathy from his woman it is his reaction to be and feel strong!?!?He is a different man! Or, maybe, I'm a different woman.
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